I'm pretty sure that on any given day, I can look back over the past 365 days of my life and think, "it's been a hell of a year." Depending on the day, I could be referring to anything-- from the "ups" in life like falling in love, having amazing friends, spending time with my family, or just generally feeling fortunate, to the "downs" like heart breaks, work stress, or monetary woes. Today though, my main focus is on my health.
Yes, first let me say that thank God I am, for the most part, a healthy and happy woman. However...it's been a hell of a year. This time last year, I was just recovering from a crazy case of the mumps (and in the interest of full medical disclosure, six months earlier I had an emergency appendectomy). For those of you who have never haaaad the mumps, consider yourselves fortunate. My face and neck became so swollen, I looked like I was in a 300lb fat suit from the shoulders up. I was so disfigured that when I saw myself in the mirror, I started crying that "what if I never look normal again?" I have only one picture of myself during this time, and no one will ever see it.
A year later, I am in bed with Swine Flu.
(this is me...minus the plant, Brady Bunch furniture, and penis)
Despite the WHO and CDC calling this a "pandemic", I haven't ever actually met anyone who's had H1N1, so imagine my surprise when my doctor suggested it this morning. I am also outside of the age-range for those most likely/susceptible for coming down with Swine Flu, but I guess working at a university is akin to working in an infectious disease laboratory without a face mask. I also guess that taking the subway to and from said job is akin to licking the inside of those red Medical Waste containers. It is a risky life I do lead.
My mother, however, blames my illness more on my lifestyle. When I called her earlier today after returning home with my diagnosis, I expected her to fuss over me into the phone and tell me how sorry she was that I wasn't feeling well. Instead, I got a two-minute rant about how I "burn the candle at both ends" all of the time and don't take care of myself and she doesn't care how young I am, people aren't meant to be out drinking until 5AM. Ugh! I mean, she's totally right, but come on woman! Give a girl a break. Feel free to yell at me after I'm better. You know that today it's totally ineffectual as I'm even less in the mood for being lectured than normal and I obviously just put the phone down and walked away.
I think my saving grace will be the oxycodone bottle I found in with my stuff from the appendicitis I mentioned earlier. It may be a little old and at less than 100% efficacy, but I'm fairly certain it'll do the trick once I run out of codeine. I anticipate this being a long week of feeling like shit.
And trust me-- nothing makes you want to get better faster than drinking pedialyte and watching SNL reruns all day.
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