The motherfucker automatically renews your account every month unless you go to the Upgrade My Account tab and then to the Autorenewal settings. I did not know this. I thought that unless you purchased a plan that specifies in the initial purchasing process that it is automatically renewing for three/six/etc. months, your one month subscription was simply that-- ONE MONTH. Why I'm surprised that a Jewish-run website is financially scamming it's trusting subscribers is probably the bigger mystery here though (Hello, Madoff. Hello, Guyweindictedonthegrandjuryfor31countsoffraudandforgeryberg.)...especially considering how their members have already done a number on me.
(I went to look for a picture to put here and wound up spending the next hour and 20 minutes watching Seinfeld bloopers on Youtube.
Not relevant, but a good way to kill an evening.)
Jdate has worn me out. The thought of facing another month of semi-blind dates (legally blind dates?) is exhausting. I've been out with different men at least three out of the five weeknights of the past four weeks. This requires strategic outfit-planning and astronomical dry-cleaning bills, removing body hair with the precision of a military Special Ops sniper, charlie horses from wearing 4in heels for hours at a time, being so tired that the last time I visited the gym I'm pretty sure I spotted a Missing Persons sign with my face on it at the front door, eating greasy breakfasts every morning to cure my constant hangovers (the other week I was hungover so many days in a row, I thought I was coming down with something), carrying around an arsenal of touch-up makeup, chugging coffee every afternoon so I have enough energy to make conversation all night...the list goes on. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm totally beat. I'm tired of dating perfectly good-looking, nice, responsible, gentleman who I feel next to no attraction towards after putting forth all of this initial effort on my end. I mean at this point, not only is it not fair to either of us, it's not even fun anymore.
Tonight I was out with a great guy -- a tall, attractive, half-Jew (like me!), oral surgeon (not like me!)-- who I coooould like if #1 were out of the picture, but who I can't stop dating in case #1 should leave. He remarked that I'd fit in well on the West Coast (his home before NYC) because I'm so laid back. I didn't even try and lie like I normally do early on in a relationship by agreeing and saying "yeah, I just like to live life man, what's the rush??" (in a Cheech Marin voice, of course) and just went "no, I'm not." He laughed and said of course I was, as if I was playing coy. "No, I'm really not," I said again. I mean why bullshit this guy more than I already am? "I'm a planner. I really like to know what's going on and within that structure I can be free. But not even really then, no. I like to go-go-go. I'm an East Coast Girl. I hit the ground running on weekends; I hate wasting time and lying around." He looked surprised but not totally taken aback.
This always happens when I decide to cut the crap with a guy I'm lukewarm about. In my attempts to shed some light on what a terrible person I actually am, I go out of the way to point out my character flaws, loosely reference how broke I am from my crap-paying job, and casually (and not at all subtly) hint at sleeping around. Instead of being turned off by this, my Lukewarm Men, or LMs, normally think I'm just hysterical and adorable and wrestle with themselves over whether to take me to an open mic night or wrap me up in a blanket and put me in their pocket. Unfortunately, they never take me seriously.
I only reach this point when I've hit rock bottom with someone and decide I've literally got nothing to lose (besides a few bucks if they're a cheap SOB and make me split the check). I don't know what IIII haven't learned here though, as this method of self-revelation has almost never worked in my favor. Nay, it has pretty much consistently led to some of my longer-running torturous courtships where some awesome guy is ga-ga for me and I'm ga-ga-gagging every time he asks me out and I'm still sober when we make out at the end of the night.
Riddle me this: Aside from a newly-developed allergy to baby oil, what is WRONG with me?
Tonight I was out with a great guy -- a tall, attractive, half-Jew (like me!), oral surgeon (not like me!)-- who I coooould like if #1 were out of the picture, but who I can't stop dating in case #1 should leave. He remarked that I'd fit in well on the West Coast (his home before NYC) because I'm so laid back. I didn't even try and lie like I normally do early on in a relationship by agreeing and saying "yeah, I just like to live life man, what's the rush??" (in a Cheech Marin voice, of course) and just went "no, I'm not." He laughed and said of course I was, as if I was playing coy. "No, I'm really not," I said again. I mean why bullshit this guy more than I already am? "I'm a planner. I really like to know what's going on and within that structure I can be free. But not even really then, no. I like to go-go-go. I'm an East Coast Girl. I hit the ground running on weekends; I hate wasting time and lying around." He looked surprised but not totally taken aback.
This always happens when I decide to cut the crap with a guy I'm lukewarm about. In my attempts to shed some light on what a terrible person I actually am, I go out of the way to point out my character flaws, loosely reference how broke I am from my crap-paying job, and casually (and not at all subtly) hint at sleeping around. Instead of being turned off by this, my Lukewarm Men, or LMs, normally think I'm just hysterical and adorable and wrestle with themselves over whether to take me to an open mic night or wrap me up in a blanket and put me in their pocket. Unfortunately, they never take me seriously.
I only reach this point when I've hit rock bottom with someone and decide I've literally got nothing to lose (besides a few bucks if they're a cheap SOB and make me split the check). I don't know what IIII haven't learned here though, as this method of self-revelation has almost never worked in my favor. Nay, it has pretty much consistently led to some of my longer-running torturous courtships where some awesome guy is ga-ga for me and I'm ga-ga-gagging every time he asks me out and I'm still sober when we make out at the end of the night.
Riddle me this: Aside from a newly-developed allergy to baby oil, what is WRONG with me?
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